MONEY THAT MUST BE SPENT :
rent..because I need shelter.
February is coming so I will need a bus pass for work.
I just got my first gas bill. It is January. A warm January, but still January.
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My paycheck tomorrow will probably be about 400 bucks.
These things, which must be paid for with this pay check, total $410.
My check will be gone in less than a day and I will not be paid for two more weeks.
I have 10 bucks in my savings and 6 bucks in my checking.
Limited access to food and malnourished. It's not always that I don't have any food, but due to disability and lack of funds, what I can manage to eat is literally rotting my body.
I had SNAP benefits, but because I didn't have money to fax over some paperwork (I DO still qualify), my benefits were taken away. Hopefully I can reapply and have benefits sometime in February.
I need to eat; I need to eat produce. Every time I buy produce it goes bad and I've wasted my money.
Right now there is nothing but pasta in my cupboard. Supply is dwindling.
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This paycheck to paycheck life is mad hard. And I just don't understand why people think I have the ability or power to save money. I can't.
I rarely go out with friends, I can't travel outside of RI, I can't buy a car, I don't have internet on my phone, I can't buy people nice presents, or lend my mom money, or buy my own cigarettes or support local businesses and/or Black owned businesses or donate to your cause or go see a show. I can't buy books or new undies and bras. Half the time I get my period, I can barely afford to buy pads.
And we need trash bags, and tin foil and Draino.
THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING I CAN DO except wait until I get my "big break." I don't know/believe/think if that will ever happen.
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I survive with help from Jake but my financial dependency is very stressful for the both of us. He allows me to use is car, gives me boges (I now smoke 1-4 cigs a day as opposed to half a pack. Having a very very difficult time quitting but deperately can't afford this habit), and buys the fast food (disability makes it very hard for me to cook regularly).
I was providing groceries and gas money but have been unable to this month after losing my SNAP benefits. Now I feel like a useless waste and we're both hungry all the time.
