Maneraq 1.

In Alaska, the Inuits have over a hundred words to describe different types of snow. For example qanik is falling snow while anijo means snow on the ground. Hiko or tsiko in some dialects is ice. Tsikut describes large broken up masses of ice; hikuliaq equals thin ice. Maneraq or smooth ice. My favorite being akuvijarjuak: thin ice on the sea[1]. I learn this in a cultural anthropology class during a brief discussion of linguistics. When I go to look this up later, the internet claims that linguist and artic explorer** Franz Boaz is a liar. He was only guessing when he shared this information with the world but I believe he told the truth. Otherwise, I would not have words to give you.

The word for Rhode Island’s blizzard of 2013 is Nemo—someone had named the storm as if it were a hurricane. Supplies were wiped out of grocery stores and gas stations the day before the snow came. People began calling the storm by another name, Snowpocalypse. We were expected to receive two feet.

Thursday night I watch the news and it tells me this. I decide to hole up in my boyfriend’s house in a vain attempt towards conforming to fear[2]. I have realized that for the most part, there’s never anything to be afraid of. Everything so far has worked out pretty well and so a mere blizzard cannot effect on my chances. It is important in my depression for me to state this to someone. Otherwise I’d be like I was—when I thought dying was a good idea.

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[1] From Cecil Adams, February 16, 1979

[2] Really, I just wanted an excuse to spend an entire weekend in his bed without his parents getting irked. 

I'm Thinking of Writing a Book

I especially ask that you comment on this post, as I need help.

I am thinking of writing a book, as I've written a lyric essay for my class which I have received excellent feedback on. As I have quite enjoyed writing this piece (and am now currently enjoying its revision) I hope that I may be able to expand upon the essay until it grows into something of heft.

The biggest issue that the piece has as of yet is its structure. Because it is so far off from conventional, the writing can be hard to navigate. This means people have to read it several times to understand it. While I enjoy that the piece of writing gets people to reread it, but I do not want one to struggle and give up on understanding the text.

Right now it is broken up into sections separated by asterisks. each section is supposed to flow within the piece, but they are still separate vignettes (for lack of a better word), and so people expect the paragraphs to flow right from one to the other when they do not necessarily do so. I do plan on fluffing up the spots between the vignettes so that their order becomes logical to the reader. However I was also considering that instead of using asterisks, maybe I could label the different vignettes as separate chapters.

Please tell me your thoughts on the subject. I will be posting more about this as well as some excerpts so just check in frequently to stay updated. I'm serious about this guys. This will happen.

Sharing Advice

I once met an editor for the Penguin Publishing company at a park in New York. I was reluctant at first to tell her that I myself am a writer, because I did not want her to think I was trying to schmooze in the middle of our conversation. But when she asked what I did, I told her the truth. She then gave me this advice: Don't make a career out the thing you love the most, but out of what you love second best. Otherwise you lose interest and lose sight of your art.

I have not yet made a career out of my writing, but in going to school for writing I already understand why she gave this advice to me. I am starting to forget what it means to write for myself. I am losing the passion I once had and am struggling to enjoy writing. I no longer write poetry, I no longer keep a journal. I don't even carry a notebook with me anymore because I merely write when I have to, not having the time or energy to write when I want to. This scares me.

In the midst of this, my passion for singing has bloomed. I have been writing lyrics and recording music with friends. I love to sing more than anything else and it's not something I ever want to lose. I have never taken a class, have never pursued singing as more than an amateur thus I have never struggled to enjoy singing.

Sometimes we lose sight of ourselves when we become too involved. But it's also important not to get involved at all. I think what the editor was trying to tell me this. To find a balance in my art that does not take away from it or myself. She knew that the balance would not be found in an institution or the corporate world.

I do not (unfortunately) remember her name, but I do thank her for our conversation everyday because with her advice she also gave me hope. She told me she knew I would be great at anything I do and gave me a hug. Every time I am frustrated with writing I remember the things she told me and give myself time to contemplate her words. It allows me to rebalance my art. I remember that writing is for me, not for my school and my professors. When I think of our conversation that day in New York, I can write again.